look up the Quaker parrots in Chicago, they are fascinating

“If you don’t treat invasive species, then I guess you can’t treat humans!”
“Um, true, we can’t, we’re a veterinary office.”


Hello? Yes, I was wondering if your veterinary office treats birds.
Certainly. What kind?
A starling. I just figured he should start having regular checkups.
Starling? Oh, no, we don’t treat wild animals.
He’s not wild! I raised him from a baby.
Well, but he came from the wild.
Oh. Well, does that mean you can’t see my other bird? I adopted a parrot, too. And I don’t know who his first owner was, but from his behavior, I suspect he might have been a wild-caught parrot instead of a captive-bred one. Will that be a problem?
Oh, that’s fine. We know how to handle parrots, even difficult ones.
HA! I have revealed your self-contradiction! You will treat a parrot that was wild-caught and raised from a baby, but you won’t treat a starling in the exact same circumstances! How do you explain that?
Well, I mean, starlings are wild animals HERE. In the United States.
Oh, so that makes a difference? They aren’t native, you know. They were brought over from foreign countries and then they developed invasive American populations.
Just like the Quaker parrots in Chicago, and the red-headed conures in California. Do you need proof that my parrot isn’t one of those species?
No. It’s a parrot. Parrots are fine.
I don’t even have a parrot! I made him up, to expose the utterly discriminatory and hypocritical inconsistency of your policies! I will be taking my business elsewhere!
…Actually there are hardly any other vets who even treat birds around here, and I really want a vet. Pretty please?

MOUSEOVER TEXT: look up the Quaker parrots in Chicago, they are fascinating

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