fried fish sandwiches probably do not improve her cholesterol levels

Fish sandwiches become so much more plentiful when you can multiply loaves and fishes.

As far as I can tell, there is no biblical evidence that Jesus EVER ate any meat besides fish (and maybe not even any evidence that he ate fish… serving it to people isn’t the same as eating it).

In any case, Abby isn’t trying to be a good Catholic, but her Christlike lacto-ovo-pesca-vegetarian diet means she’s following the rules of Lent whether she likes it or not.

Mmm, I’ll have the cod filet.
Yeah, me too. Why are all the best fish sandwiches only available this time of year?
Lent. Catholics eat a lot of fish during Lent.
Why is that again?
They don’t eat meat on Fridays during Lent, and fish doesn’t count as meat.
Okay, both those things make no sense to me.
They don’t want to actually eat nothing at all for forty days, so they settled for cutting out meat on Fridays and replacing it with fish.
I’m gonna need you to explain from the beginning.
Okay. They’re fasting, to honor Jesus, who is said to have eaten nothing at all for forty days before being crucified.
Why’d he do that?
Well, I mean, I once had to fast for twelve hours before getting a blood test for cholesterol. I guess if it was all four limbs getting pierced, instead of just a vein in your arm, you’d have to do a longer fast.
You are a terrible horrible person.

MOUSEOVER TEXT: fried fish sandwiches probably do not improve her cholesterol levels

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2 Responses to 1680

  1. Susanne NieƟ says:

    I’m not a Catholic but there is a fault in this. Jesus was not said to have fasted for 40 days before his death – after all, he ate passah meal with his disciples where he founded the Holy Supper. In addidion, on the way to Jerusalem he saw a tree and looked for fruit on it, which he would not have done if he had been fasting. He was said to have fasted for 40 days in the beginning of his preaching, some years before his death.

    • admin says:

      Ah, good catch! I guess both Abby and I have fallen so far from the church that we can’t remember that sort of thing.