it also helps to never change your facial expression

Cathy has pretty much never seen any old people, because old people aren’t glamorous, and one just doesn’t associate with unglamorous people.


You’re so fat! You’re gonna die soon ’cause of that. You know why you never see fat old people?
Um, I do see them. Most old people I know are kinda fat.
And if you think you’ve never seen any fat old people, Cathy, maybe you’re just not looking hard enough.
See, the reason old people get wrinkles, is because their skin has stretched over the years. But if you keep getting fatter, your skin can’t stretch enough to keep up, so you never wrinkle, so you never look old.
By continuously gaining weight, I will continue to look young far into my old age. Fatness is the fountain of youth, the only natural anti-aging remedy.
Yeah, but you’ll look like a FAT young person.
I’ll tell people it’s just baby fat.

MOUSEOVER TEXT: it also helps to never change your facial expression

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