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 Worse than birth control, because birth control at least gives your child a TINY chance at life.

I’m taking a risk by posting this, because there seem to be child-related tragedies happening every few months lately. But Abby is a reflection of me, so her humor is dark, and this is how she deals with things. (It doesn’t work very well. She may think she’s put the violence of the world in perspective, but she’s still as depressed about it as ever.)

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1285

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They debunked the whole 'light from a car's headlights is going the speed of light plus the speed of the car' hypothesis, but they never thought about the taillights!

That’s one of the interesting loopholes in the whole FTL business. You can’t go “objectively” faster than the speed of light, but two objects can move apart from each other faster than light, and motion is relative anyway; you get to choose what object to measure your speed in relation to. (If I ever get stopped for riding my bike 15 mph on one of those 10 mph paths, I’ll tell the cop I measure my speed in relation to my handlebar basket and therefore I wasn’t moving at all.)

Abby seems to love real-but-irrelevant solutions to the FTL problem. She was so happy about the work of Lene Hau.

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1284

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Sorry, my fellow non-music-nerds, for making a joke that only music nerds will get

Actually I don’t think Abby’s rendition of “Oh Canada” to the tune of “Oh Tannenbaum” works, because the first two words aren’t supposed to be repeated. But “The Star-Spangled Banner” to the tune of “The First Noel” and “Yankee Doodle” to the tune of “Good King Wenceslas” both work surprisingly well.

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1283

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 gut bacteria are the new gerbils

I’m not sure if intestinal bacteria qualify as “animals,” though. The single-celled organisms closest to animals are, I think, technically classified as “animal-like protists.” (They use the term “gut flora” instead of “gut fauna,” but they’re not plants either.)

I’d be interested to see a legal case addressing someone who got off sexually on something involving, say, houseflies, or mosquitoes. I guess it would be bestiality, but the argument against bestiality is that it’s cruel to the animal, and I’d like to see someone convince a jury to care about cruelty to a mosquito.

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1278

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happy 100,000th binary birthday to me!

The analogy doesn’t quite work, because a billionaire who was banned from grocery stores could still hire someone to shop for her. Whereas a smart person who couldn’t get a job couldn’t exactly use her intelligence to get someone to earn money for her… Well, maybe she could… Hmm. Let me look into this business opportunity.

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