Zach Weiner of SMBC once posted a poem where he rhymed his last name with “greener” or “carabiner” or something with a similar-sounding ending. I don’t remember the details, and I can’t find it in the archives, but he should know that his name is actually pronounced more like “whiner.” It’s a German name, and in German, it’s I before E when the sound is “ee”, and E before I when the sound is “eye.” (The name “Weiner” means “one who makes wine,” and “Wiener” means “one who is from Vienna.”)
But then, if I’m going to be so picky about pronunciation, I might as well tell him he has to pronounce the W like a V, too. Let’s revert all German-derived words to their full phlegmy Germanness! And while we’re at it, let’s all annoy football fans by giving Brett Favre’s name its original French pronunciation, complete with the gargled R.