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maybe forgiving requires a certain amount of forgetting

I can’t understand why anyone would want an apology from someone who had wronged them terribly (as in the case of abuse). An apology requires opening communication with the person again, and some people it’s really safer to stay out of touch with, even if you have managed to let go of your anger at them.

But then, I never liked getting apologies, even for minor wrongs. Even as a kid, it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially when the other kid wasn’t really sorry and was being forced to apologize. (I didn’t like apologies anyway, but hearing a fake forced apology made me want to run away and hide… partly because I knew it was making the other kid even madder at me, and more likely to attack me again as soon as the teachers weren’t around. Don’t force kids to apologize– it can lead only to violence, misery and death.)

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952

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there are no real vows except the ones you sign on the dotted line

When we got married in 2005, we got the license several days before the wedding, but when we applied for it, we had to fill in what the date of the wedding would be… so regardless of whether we had the ceremony on that day or not, that would be the official, legal date of our wedding. Luckily our plans didn’t change, so the legal marriage date and the date of the ceremony ended up matching.

After the wedding ceremony, we also filled out another document, the marriage certificate. This was probably as important as the license, seeing that it required two witnesses to sign it in addition to us. So I think Abby’s actually wrong, and we weren’t legally married until we finished that part, too… thus, if someone had tried to stop our wedding and failed to prevent us from speaking the vows, they might still have been able to grab the pens from us and/or our witnesses as we sat down with the certificate afterwards.

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951

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And how many would 'buy' it, in the sense of 'believe'?

I really don’t know if anyone would read Memoirs of a Pathological Liar. There would always be the nagging suspicion that you might be reading lies… and people seem more interested in reading memoirs when there hasn’t been doubt cast on their truth.

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949

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Weird-Abby-logic: it can now feed and house the poor, too!

I resolve to stop spending money anywhere, because I have no way of knowing whether the people I pay will go and blow the money on drink and drugs. Hey, my first landlord was a drug addict, and I’ve never gotten over the guilt of how much of my money went to support his habit. So from now on, I will live on the street, and get all my possessions out of garbage cans. But I won’t beg for money, because what good is money when anyone you pay might waste it on booze?

P.S. The only part of that paragraph that was true was the part about my first landlord being a drug addict. And that I don’t even know for sure, but the maintenance guy told me it was true. That was why he was instructed to plaster over the crumbling ceiling instead of fixing the leaking pipe inside it: when you gotta save money for drugs, you cut corners wherever you can.

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948

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If you thought only in written words, what font would you want them to be?

Some guy once told me that he could tell people eerily accurate things about their lives, based on looking into their eyes. I asked him what he could say about me, and he said, “Nothing, really, because you never make eye contact.” Sometimes being a weirdo makes me feel very safe.

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