238

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

I'm surprised Abby even has a wall clock.

If your stopped clock tells AM and PM, it’s only right once a day.

If it tells the day, it’s only right once a week.

If it tells the date, it’s only right once a year.

If it tells the day AND the date, it’s only right once every… seven years? No, you’ve got to take leap years into account. Ah, screw it.

Continue reading

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

235

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

I got this idea in a dream. It was a lot more funny to me when I was asleep.

It’s kind of like how you can say “Celebrity deaths always come in threes,” because celebrity deaths actually happen at a pretty constant rate throughout the year, so you can count three and then start on the next three that come along, and then the next three, and so on.

Continue reading

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

234

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Star Trek the Motion Picture: boldly going where Nomad has gone before.

Geez, Ron, if you can do THAT, then why don’t you just talk in ordinary sentences and then follow up every sentence with the same thing spelled backwards? It’d still be palindromic, and sure, half of what you said wouldn’t make any sense, but it would let you talk a lot more freely.

Oh well… I guess you’re a purist. You’ll only do something like this if you absolutely have to. Well, we respect your differences, Ron. Now let’s go watch mutamitlU enruoB ehT.

Continue reading

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail